Money Matters Episode 302- The Go-Giver Way W/ Bob Burg

Bob Burg: Money Matters Podcast Alumni Interview

November 29, 2023 . 12:54 PM . ID: 708837005

Transcript

00:01 - 00:03
[speaker unknown]
This conference will now be recorded.

00:03 - 00:05
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Good afternoon, everybody.

00:05 - 00:07
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
You're listening to money matters?

00:07 - 00:09
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
I'm Chris Hensley.

00:09 - 00:12
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
We have a fantastic show lined up for you today.

00:12 - 00:17
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
I'm super excited to have Bob Burg back on the show.

00:17 - 00:22
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
We are, you know, you've heard me talk about the 10 year anniversary of the show.

00:22 - 00:23
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
I looked back.

00:23 - 00:28
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
And, you know, we don't often have what I call alumni members on the show people who are repeat.

00:28 - 00:28
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Yes.

00:28 - 00:35
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
After, we're now on episode 302, and they've gotta be really, really good guests to come back on the show.

00:35 - 00:47
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Bob was kind enough to visit with us, again from the first episode back on an episode 28 where we had, why can't we be friends, adversaries, into allies?

00:47 - 00:59
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
We talked about his book, Go Giver, now, Bob, I'm a big fan, so if you can't tell, or what, I'm gonna do is, I'm going to share your bio with listeners, just so that they can get to know you a little bit better.

01:00 - 01:11
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Bob has, for over 30 years, he's been successful showing entrepreneurs, leaders, and sales professionals, how to communicate the value and accelerate their business growth.

01:11 - 01:20
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Although, for years, he is best known for his cells, classic analysts, referrals, and, yes, I had that one back in the day to endless referrals.

01:20 - 01:23
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
In his, it says Business Parable that go Giver.

01:23 - 01:28
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Co-authored with John David Man that has created a worldwide movement.

01:28 - 01:30
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So, I'll just stop there because you've got a lot of stuff there.

01:30 - 01:35
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Bob, what else can you share with us so that the listeners can get to know you a little bit?

01:36 - 01:47
Bob
Know, there's nothing really, really to share, just kinda enjoy my work and enjoy speaking with great people like you, and it's always be, you know, fun to have these conversations.

01:48 - 01:49
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Love it.

01:49 - 01:49
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
I love it.

01:49 - 01:54
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
And I didn't know, I've been keeping up with you and you're doing the go Giver podcast as well.

01:54 - 01:58
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So that's something that's evolved since, I guess, the last 10 years here.

01:59 - 02:01
Bob
Actually, I used to do it.

02:01 - 02:04
Bob
We haven't had an active for awhile.

02:04 - 02:07
Bob
I still keep the episodes in the archives, though.

02:07 - 02:13
Bob
And it seems like people are listening to more to the archives when they get to the live ones.

02:13 - 02:15
Bob
So you know, that's worked out well.

02:17 - 02:25
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
The information, I mean it is really You know when we talked before this was post or this was pre coburn right?

02:25 - 02:25
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So.

02:25 - 02:26
Bob
People were.

02:26 - 02:36
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
At ends and networking, and meeting and so now we're in a different World but a lot of this stuff that you talked about and go Giver still holds true.

02:38 - 02:42
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Could you share with listeners what the premise of the book that go gibber Ids.

02:43 - 02:43
Bob
Sure.

02:43 - 02:54
Bob
Basically it's that shifting and it's a parable so it's a story co-authored with John David Man, who was a fantastic writer, really, he was the lead writer and storyteller.

02:54 - 03:00
Bob
And it's really the premises that shifting your your focus, which is really where it all begins.

03:01 - 03:14
Bob
Shifting your focus from getting to giving and when we say giving in this context, we simply mean constantly and consistently providing immense value to others.

03:14 - 03:20
Bob
Understanding that doing so is not only a more pleasant way of conducting business, a more fulfilling way.

03:20 - 03:24
Bob
It's actually the most financially profitable way as well.

03:24 - 03:28
Bob
And that not for any kind of way out there.

03:28 - 03:51
Bob
The mystical, Magical, you know, kinda woo reasons or anything, it really makes logical sense when you're that person Chris, who can move your focus off of yourself and place it on serving Others, discovering their needs, their wants, their desires when when moving off of yourself.

03:51 - 03:54
Bob
And making it about helping them solve their problems and challenges.

03:55 - 03:58
Bob
When taking your focus off yourself.

03:58 - 04:02
Bob
And being focused on moving them closer to happiness.

04:03 - 04:08
Bob
People feel good about you, they feel great about you, They want to get to know you.

04:08 - 04:13
Bob
They like you, they trust you, they want to be in relationship with you, they want to do business with you.

04:13 - 04:15
Bob
They want to tell the world about you.

04:15 - 04:19
Bob
They want to be what we call your personal walking ambassador.

04:19 - 04:34
Bob
So that's really know, what the story is about and then there are five principles or laws that John and I shared, you know, that would help someone to take that that premise and make it actionable.

04:35 - 04:40
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So I'm gonna, that's a good leeway, I'm going to ask you about those five laws here in a second, but I'm gonna.

04:40 - 04:40
Bob
Take a pause.

04:40 - 04:51
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Just for a moment and let you know that 10 years ago, when you were on the show shortly, after being on the show, I've got a hand-written thank you card from you that was signed.

04:51 - 04:52
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Thanks for being on the show.

04:52 - 05:00
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
The reason I mention that is, this is one of those lost dying Art, people do not write zero PM.

05:00 - 05:00
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Right.

05:00 - 05:01
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Thank you, cards anymore.

05:01 - 05:06
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
And if you're on a job interview following up with a hand-written thank you card, that's Oh, absolutely.

05:08 - 05:17
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Just wanted to let you know that that made a big impact, and I don't have any other people in the last 10 years after show 302, that I can say wrote a hand.

05:18 - 05:20
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
That made you stand out, OK, I digress.

05:22 - 05:23
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So.

05:23 - 05:25
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Yeah, So we were talking about the five laws.

05:25 - 05:27
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Can you share what those are, Brutalist?

05:28 - 05:29
Bob
Sure.

05:29 - 05:32
Bob
So the five laws themselves are the laws of value.

05:32 - 05:37
Bob
Compensation, influence, authenticity, and receptivity.

05:38 - 05:51
Bob
Law number one The law of Value says that your true worth in the business sense of course, your true worth Is determined by how much more you give in value then you take an payment now when you first hear this.

05:51 - 05:56
Bob
It can sound rather counter-intuitive No give more value than I'd taken payment.

05:56 - 05:57
Bob
That sounds all.

05:57 - 06:02
Bob
Nice a nice and everything, But it also kind of sounds like a recipe for bankruptcy, right?

06:02 - 06:02
Bob
Give.

06:02 - 06:02
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
More.

06:02 - 06:12
Bob
Value than I taken payments, so we simply have to understand here the difference between price and value Prices a dollar figure.

06:12 - 06:17
Bob
It's a dollar amount is finite it is what it is value.

06:17 - 06:29
Bob
On the other hand, is the the relative worth or desirability of a thing of some thing to the end user or beholder in other words, What is it about this thing?

06:29 - 06:44
Bob
This product, service concept, idea, what have you, that bring so much worth or value to another person, that they will willingly exchange their weather time, energy, or money in exchange for this, this worth.

06:45 - 07:04
Bob
While you also make a very healthy profit, a very quick example, if I may, would be if you were to, if you were to hire an accountant, let's say, to do your taxes And she charged you a thousand dollars as her, her fee or literally her price, one thousand dollars.

07:05 - 07:06
Bob
But what exchange?

07:06 - 07:08
Bob
What value does she give you an exchange for?

07:08 - 07:08
Bob
That?

07:08 - 07:17
Bob
Well through her hard work or discipline, her years of study or knowledge, and her desire to get to know you and your business on what you're looking to accomplish.

07:17 - 07:21
Bob
She was able to save you $5000 in taxes.

07:22 - 07:28
Bob
She also saved you countless hours of time, which frees you up to do what you would rather be doing and what you could be more productively do.

07:28 - 07:36
Bob
And she also provided you gave you the the security and the peace of mind for you and your family knowing what was done correctly.

07:36 - 07:47
Bob
So so she literally gave you well over $5000 in value, in exchange for one thousand dollars fee or price, so you feel great about it.

07:48 - 07:58
Bob
She also made a very healthy profit because to her it was worth it to exchange her, her time, her knowledge, her energy, for this thousand dollar fee.

07:59 - 08:05
Bob
So, you know, one of my old heroes, Harry brownies to say in any free market based exchange.

08:06 - 08:11
Bob
When we say free market, we simply mean no one is forced to do business with anyone else.

08:11 - 08:23
Bob
So, in any free market based exchange, there should always be at least two profits, the buyer profits and the seller profits because each of them came away better off afterwards than they were beforehand.

08:24 - 08:35
Bob
But it's important to understand that this happened only because the accountant, she was, she was focused, not on the, on the fee.

08:35 - 08:39
Bob
She was focused on the immense value she was providing.

08:39 - 08:42
Bob
The fee was the result, This is why John David Man.

08:42 - 08:47
Bob
And I say that money is simply an echo of value.

08:47 - 08:51
Bob
It's the thunder, if you will, to values' lightning, meaning nothing more than the value.

08:51 - 08:52
Bob
Must be.

08:52 - 08:58
Bob
The focus of the money you receive is simply a natural result of the value you've provided.

08:58 - 09:02
Bob
So that's really in a nutshell, that's, that's law, number one.

09:02 - 09:03
Bob
The law of value.

09:04 - 09:09
Bob
Law number two, and I'll be real quick with the others, law number two, is the law of compensation.

09:09 - 09:14
Bob
It says, your income is determined by how many people you serve, and how well you serve them.

09:14 - 09:16
Bob
So it's not just a matter of providing great value.

09:16 - 09:19
Bob
That's the, that's, of course, the bedrock, that's the foundation.

09:19 - 09:25
Bob
But it's also how many lives you impact with the value you provide.

09:25 - 09:33
Bob
Law Number three, the law of influence says your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people's interests first.

09:33 - 09:37
Bob
No, not in a way that door Matty or murder rate yourself sacrificial.

09:37 - 09:38
Bob
Absolutely, not at all.

09:39 - 09:43
Bob
It's simply as Joe the Protege and the story learn from several of the mentors.

09:43 - 09:50
Bob
The golden rule of business of sales says that all things being equal, people will do business with and refer business to.

09:50 - 09:53
Bob
Those people they know, like, and trust.

09:53 - 10:01
Bob
And there's no faster, more powerful, or more effective way to elicit those feelings toward you and others than by moving from that.

10:01 - 10:07
Bob
I focus or me focus to that other focus, looking to as Sam one of the mentors and the story.

10:07 - 10:12
Bob
Advise Joe make your win all about the other person's win.

10:13 - 10:20
Bob
Law number four, the law of authenticity says, the most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself, in this part of the story.

10:21 - 10:34
Bob
Deborah, shared a very important lesson, and that is that all the skills in the world, the sales skills, excuse me, technical skills, people skills as important as they are, and they are all very important.

10:35 - 10:49
Bob
They're also, all for not, If you don't come at it from your true authentic corr, but when you do, when you show up as yourself day after day, week, after week, month after month, people not only feel good about you.

10:49 - 10:50
Bob
They feel comfortable with you.

10:50 - 10:55
Bob
They feel safe with you, because they know who they're getting.

10:55 - 10:58
Bob
And it's human nature to want to make sense of our world.

10:58 - 11:00
Bob
And this in a world that often doesn't make sense.

11:01 - 11:08
Bob
So that kind of consistency in yourself and a world that's very inconsistent is a big progenitor of trust.

11:09 - 11:22
Bob
I think the big thing is, you know, in a sense, and maybe it's through social media, that, that, that, authenticity has almost been redefine to mean.

11:23 - 11:24
Bob
No boundaries.

11:24 - 11:32
Bob
Just do or say whatever you want, or whatever you think, because, well, as authentic, So it doesn't matter, it's OK, and I respectfully disagree with that.

11:32 - 11:37
Bob
This is sort of like the person who says, Well, I have anger issues, and I yell at people a lot.

11:37 - 11:43
Bob
And if I were to ask any differently, that wouldn't be authentic to me, and that's malarky.

11:43 - 11:52
Bob
That simply means that person has an authentic problem that they need to authentically work on in order to become a better hire.

11:52 - 11:55
Bob
More effective, authentic version of themselves.

11:55 - 12:09
Bob
So yeah, I kinda politely again, reject that that premise about authenticity and and I would rather define it as simply acting congruent Lee, with your values.

12:10 - 12:14
Bob
And I think if you do that, then you're being authentic, and you're always on the right track.

12:16 - 12:25
Bob
Law number five, the law of receptivity says, the key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving and this really means just understanding that, yeah, you breathe out.

12:25 - 12:27
Bob
You also have to breathe in.

12:27 - 12:30
Bob
It's not one or the other, it's both.

12:30 - 12:37
Bob
You breathe out carbon dioxide, you breathe in oxygen, you breathe out, which is giving you breathe in, which is receiving.

12:37 - 12:50
Bob
Despite the messages of lack, the of the very anti prosperity messages we get from the world around us, from just about everywhere, fact, is, giving and receiving, are not opposite concepts.

12:50 - 12:52
Bob
Again, it's not an either, or, it's an and.

12:52 - 12:59
Bob
Giving and receiving are simply two sides of the very same coin, and they work in tandem.

13:00 - 13:14
Bob
So, we need to be able to get past all those horrible mind viruses as my great friend, Randy Cage calls them and and understand that for, you know, providing the fact that you are giving great value to the world, you're touching the lives of many.

13:15 - 13:18
Bob
You've earned that abundance.

13:18 - 13:28
Bob
It is yours to gratefully receive and we've gotta be careful not to let those kind of horrible Anti Prosperity messages get in the way and keep us from doing that.

13:29 - 13:31
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
It is a two-way street, right?

13:31 - 13:33
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So, it's got a flow both ways.

13:33 - 13:34
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
But.

13:34 - 13:34
Bob
Jeff.

13:35 - 13:39
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
The five walls that you just shared with us, I mean, those are so huge.

13:39 - 13:41
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Each one of those, we could do a whole show just on each.

13:41 - 13:42
Bob
Exactly.

13:42 - 13:45
Bob
Yeah, that was the Reader's Digest version.

13:46 - 13:49
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
I would encourage people read this book.

13:49 - 13:50
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
It is a powerful book.

13:51 - 13:57
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Let me, let me pivot a little bit and ask you about a piece of advice.

13:57 - 14:04
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Was there one piece of advice that you received, before you even knew anything about what being a giver entailed?

14:05 - 14:08
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
That was a difference maker for you.

14:08 - 14:09
Bob
Well.

14:10 - 14:17
Bob
I think about, almost 40 years ago, I'd been in sales for, for a couple of years.

14:18 - 14:23
Bob
Um, and I had done pretty well, because I had learned how to sell by.

14:23 - 14:38
Bob
I didn't know anything about selling when I first started, and I failed miserably, but once I read a couple of books Zig Ziglar, Tom Hopkins, I started studying sales, I did, started to do really well, but I went to work for another company a couple of years after I started.

14:38 - 14:44
Bob
And I started out in a slump, in, was really having a difficult time working out of it.

14:45 - 14:55
Bob
And, you know, I made the mistake of the young salesperson, the deeper the slump I was in, the more I was focused on myself as opposed to being focused on my customers.

14:56 - 15:00
Bob
And I remember an older guy at the company where I was, he wasn't in the sales department.

15:00 - 15:03
Bob
I think he was an engineer, or something, and he retired soon after.

15:03 - 15:10
Bob
I didn't know him very well, but nice guy, and one of these people didn't say a whole lot, but whenever he did, it was usually something profound.

15:11 - 15:11
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Yeah.

15:12 - 15:12
Bob
Yeah.

15:12 - 15:13
Bob
Exactly.

15:13 - 15:22
Bob
And he took me aside one day, and he just said you know Berg, if you want to make a lot of money in sales, he said, don't have making money as the target.

15:22 - 15:26
Bob
Your target is serving others.

15:26 - 15:40
Bob
Now, when you hit the target, he said, You'll get a reward, and that reward will be in the form of money, and you can do with that money, whatever you choose, But never forget, He said, the money is simply the reward for hitting the target.

15:40 - 15:55
Bob
It isn't the target itself, your target is serving others, and you know, Chris, what that really said to me I think, was that great salesmanship is never about the salesperson.

15:56 - 16:01
Bob
Great salesmanship is never about the product or service itself, is as important as those are.

16:01 - 16:02
Bob
That's not what it's about.

16:03 - 16:08
Bob
Great salesmanship is really all about the other person.

16:08 - 16:15
Bob
It's about that person whose life you're, you're trying to add value to, Or I think we could even really say.

16:16 - 16:20
Bob
It's about that person whose life is better.

16:21 - 16:24
Bob
Just because you are part of it.

16:25 - 16:36
Bob
And I think that when we approach sales from that foundation, now, we are really nine steps ahead of the game, in a 10 step game.

16:36 - 16:38
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
I love it, I love it.

16:38 - 16:40
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Great, Great information there.

16:41 - 16:49
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
You know, one of the lines that raised a few eyebrows in the book, it's where you and John wrote, Does it make money?

16:50 - 16:52
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
It's not a bad question.

16:52 - 16:53
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
It's a great question.

16:53 - 16:55
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
It's just a bad first question.

16:55 - 16:55
Bob
I think.

16:55 - 16:59
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Of a lot of entrepreneurs, especially women's startup phase, might disagree.

16:59 - 16:59
Bob
With.

16:59 - 17:00
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
You.

17:00 - 17:02
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
They might even say that it's the only question.

17:02 - 17:03
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
When it comes to business.

17:03 - 17:04
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Otherwise you're just no naive.

17:04 - 17:08
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So what do you mean by that Is a long run.

17:08 - 17:09
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
What do you mean, but no, no.

17:09 - 17:10
Bob
That's a good question.

17:10 - 17:10
Bob
No.

17:12 - 17:17
Bob
When I, when I used to speak at sales conferences, I'm not even on the road anymore.

17:17 - 17:17
Bob
It's 65.

17:17 - 17:24
Bob
I'm kinda off the road, I'm still doing actually some conferences, by computer virtually, but not on the road.

17:24 - 17:39
Bob
So so, but when I used to be in front of the huge groups of sales sales professionals, one of the first things I would say is, nobody's going to buy from you because you have a quota to meet, OK.

17:39 - 17:47
Bob
Nobody's going to buy from you because you'd like the sale, you need the money, or even just because you're a nice person, right?

17:47 - 17:53
Bob
They're gonna buy from you because they believe that they will ultimately be better off by doing so than by not doing so.

17:54 - 18:06
Bob
So, the entrepreneur who comes into the game thinking, you know, only about the money, again, it's not that it's not an important question, but if they, they have that first, they're putting the cart before the horse.

18:07 - 18:15
Bob
Because nobody's buying because they want they care if it makes money First the first question to ask is does it serve?

18:16 - 18:16
Bob
I?

18:16 - 18:23
Bob
Mean, we can even say, Is there a market for, you know, either one that's already there or one year willing to take a chance and try to create.

18:23 - 18:34
Bob
I mean, that's a different, But but the key is you've got to start with the customer, you've got to start with is it something people are gonna want and pay for, OK?

18:34 - 18:37
Bob
Now if the answer is yes, does it serve?

18:37 - 18:38
Bob
Yes, it serves.

18:39 - 18:41
Bob
Now you've got to ask, does it make money?

18:42 - 18:50
Bob
Because you can have millions of buyers, but if you're not making a profit on each sale, you have a very expensive hobby.

18:51 - 18:54
Bob
So now asking if it will make money is indeed an important question.

18:54 - 18:58
Bob
It's just a really bad first question, because it starts you off basing in the wrong direction.

19:00 - 19:01
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
That makes perfect sense, to me.

19:01 - 19:12
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
That is something we should, you know, intuitively know, I mean, when we, when we go purchase something and we're in that, on the other side of that transaction, right, we don't like it.

19:12 - 19:17
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
We can, you can smell it when people are focused on the numbers Instead of really caring.

19:17 - 19:19
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So, that's, that's, I'll.

19:21 - 19:21
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Change.

19:21 - 19:30
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
I'll just pivot just a little bit to talk about mentorship because that's an important thing, You know, we've all had people that have influenced our lives.

19:30 - 19:36
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Whether we put the label mentor on them, or just call them something else that, I knew a little bit more than me at the office.

19:37 - 19:42
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
We're, for people who are looking for mentors, where's a good place to find your first mentor?

19:43 - 19:45
Bob
Well, I think that you can find a mentor anywhere.

19:45 - 19:47
Bob
It could be that person at work.

19:47 - 19:53
Bob
You know, it could be that person who gave me that advice, Even though I didn't go looking for him, He came to me and that was wonderful.

19:53 - 20:04
Bob
But, but, yeah, it could be someone you admire at work, it could be someone you admire in the community, it could be someone who you who, someone who you're related to knows and can introduce you.

20:04 - 20:06
Bob
It could be someone you find online.

20:06 - 20:09
Bob
I think the big thing is how we approach that person.

20:09 - 20:13
Bob
Because whether it's in person, whether it's by phone, whether it's it's on social media, whatever.

20:14 - 20:22
Bob
I think one of the big mistakes people make is, is they'll, you know, they'll say to somebody, you know, I really need help.

20:22 - 20:25
Bob
I, I need a mentor, will you mentor me?

20:25 - 20:38
Bob
And if you don't have a relationship with this person first, it's, it's sort of like, you know, saying to someone, Hey, will you share with me 40 years of your experience, even though you don't know me from a hole in the wall?

20:39 - 20:57
Bob
And not only might come across as inappropriate or entitled, but that person probably has a lot of other people ask them for their time and mentorship and, and just coming right out and asking them to mentor you, doesn't distinguish you in in any way.

20:58 - 21:00
Bob
Nonetheless, you can still approach that person.

21:00 - 21:01
Bob
There's nothing wrong with that at all.

21:01 - 21:12
Bob
I would probably do it in a way that That is um is more effective, and that is by simply saying that this person something like, you know, I know you are very busy.

21:12 - 21:24
Bob
So if this is something you either don't have the time to do or for whatever reason would rather not I'll absolutely understand I'm wondering if I could possibly ask you 1 or 2 very specific questions.

21:25 - 21:26
Bob
Now, what you've done.

21:26 - 21:36
Bob
You've totally reframe this, OK, and and now it's, it's you've you've shown respect in the ask you you've communicated you realize this is a big ask.

21:36 - 21:46
Bob
You gave them what I call the out or back door, that emotional escape route by saying, I understand you're very busy, if you'd rather not for, I'll totally understand.

21:46 - 22:00
Bob
And the bigger the out you give someone to take, the less they'll feel the need to take it, because not only do people crave autonomy, and to not feel forced into doing something, But it also communicates to them that you respect their time, right?

22:00 - 22:11
Bob
And but the third thing you did, which is very important, is rather than just asking them to mentor you, again, without a relationship, it's like asking someone to marry you before asking for a date.

22:12 - 22:15
Bob
A mentor protege relationship is a relationship.

22:15 - 22:16
Bob
It takes time to develop.

22:16 - 22:22
Bob
But what you did instead is you ask, May I ask you 1 or 2 very specific questions.

22:22 - 22:27
Bob
What you've just communicated there is to this person, OK, They're not going to waste my time.

22:27 - 22:29
Bob
They know what they want.

22:29 - 22:38
Bob
You know, they have an agenda in a good way and agenda, you know, they have an agenda, they write, and they'll usually say, assure you know, Absolutely go ahead, what would you, whatever?

22:38 - 22:50
Bob
Now, you want to make sure you, You've researched this person so thoroughly that you don't ask them a question that you could have found online, of course, but But you also want to ask those questions.

22:50 - 22:51
Bob
You know, make it quick.

22:51 - 22:52
Bob
Don't take a lot of their time.

22:52 - 22:54
Bob
Thank them profusely.

22:54 - 22:58
Bob
Let them know that, you know, you're going to apply the information right away.

22:58 - 23:02
Bob
My, you know, touch base with you, from time to time, to let you know how things are going to say.

23:02 - 23:03
Bob
Yes, of course.

23:03 - 23:03
Bob
Absolutely.

23:03 - 23:09
Bob
Now, the next thing I would do is, I would write a hand, written, personalized.

23:09 - 23:12
Bob
Thank you Know, like, we talked about before, you know.

23:12 - 23:16
Bob
Mine is on a 8.5 by 3 inch notecard or a certain format.

23:16 - 23:18
Bob
People can can.

23:18 - 23:20
Bob
If they go to Berg ...

23:20 - 23:28
Bob
Dot com slash notecard, they can see how mind and they can they can use that as a prototype if they want and just put their own information on there.

23:28 - 23:39
Bob
But it should just say something very simple like, Dear mister So and so or Dear Ms. So and so or hi Jack or high Jill however the relationship has been established.

23:40 - 23:47
Bob
Thank you, I am so very grateful for you taking time out of your busy schedule to answer my questions.

23:47 - 23:49
Bob
Just priceless.

23:49 - 23:57
Bob
Look forward to applying your information and will touch base and let you know how things are going best trigger whatever, OK.

23:58 - 24:03
Bob
However, you want to do it, Put it in hashtag 10 envelope or however you're doing it, hand stamp it.

24:03 - 24:03
Bob
Send it.

24:05 - 24:09
Bob
Now, the next thing I would do is make a small donation.

24:09 - 24:14
Bob
It doesn't have to be anything big, but a small donation to their favorite charitable cause.

24:14 - 24:19
Bob
Or or, you know, whatever it is that they're real which you can find by looking up online or at worst.

24:19 - 24:21
Bob
You can ask their administrative assistant.

24:21 - 24:29
Bob
It might be that they're, you know, they serve on the board of directors of their local animal shelters or adoption.

24:29 - 24:36
Bob
Because, you know, whatever it happens to be, make a small donation in their name, it'll get back to them, and you're not doing it to, to kiss up or anything.

24:37 - 24:55
Bob
But, again, just so they know, that you really respect and honor and appreciate the fact that they took, and you wanted to do something to be able to write, and this is the kind of now you can, a few weeks later, Maybe you'll you'll reconnect with them and ask them another question, and maybe, you know, and time.

24:56 - 25:02
Bob
Perhaps a mentor protege relationship develops, maybe not, it might be that one time you talk to that person.

25:02 - 25:04
Bob
Or, might be more.

25:04 - 25:19
Bob
But if you do this with the people who you want to meet, what you're gonna find is you're you're creating this group of people who are really there for you, and who want to see you succeed, and can introduce you to others, and can share their wisdom.

25:19 - 25:22
Bob
And I think when you go about it that way, you're on the right track.

25:23 - 25:25
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Fantastic, that's great.

25:25 - 25:28
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
I tell you, 10 years later, I still remember the hand-written note that you sent me.

25:28 - 25:31
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
It works that impact there.

25:32 - 25:35
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
We're, we're we're bumping towards the end of this show.

25:35 - 25:39
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
We could sit and talk called, they've got just a couple minutes left here, so let me pick 1 good 1.

25:39 - 25:41
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Let's see.

25:44 - 25:53
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So, the one I wanted to ask you is you make an interesting point that I think we should spend some time on, so we will speak little bump it towards the end, you say that?

25:53 - 25:54
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Go give her philosophies.

25:54 - 25:57
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Totally congruent about with Human Nature.

25:57 - 25:57
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Well.

25:58 - 25:58
Bob
That.

25:58 - 25:59
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Could be looked at, in many ways.

25:59 - 26:01
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Not all of them are positive.

26:01 - 26:02
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Could you explain?

26:02 - 26:03
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Well.

26:03 - 26:07
Bob
I mean, when I say congruent with Human Nature, I mean, it's understanding that.

26:07 - 26:12
Bob
And Dale Carnegie talked about this in his classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

26:12 - 26:22
Bob
In fact, I think this was the underlying premise of his entire book, this one line, it's where he said ultimately, people do things for their reasons, not our reasons.

26:23 - 26:31
Bob
So, to the degree that we can focus on that other person and ask ourselves how we provide or give value to them.

26:31 - 26:40
Bob
Now, remember when we talked about value earlier, it's the relative worth, or desirability, which means value is always in the eyes of the beholder.

26:41 - 26:46
Bob
It's not what we think is of value, or what we think they should think is of value.

26:46 - 26:47
Bob
It's what they think.

26:47 - 26:49
Bob
So our job is to discover that.

26:50 - 26:55
Bob
And when we do, now, we're able to add value in a way that they embrace.

26:55 - 26:58
Bob
That's really, when I talk about human nature, that's what it is.

26:58 - 27:00
Bob
And it's with any relationship.

27:01 - 27:01
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Love it.

27:01 - 27:08
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
I love it will write here at the end of the show Bobbed, for listeners, who would like to find out more about you, Where is the best place for them to find?

27:09 - 27:15
Bob
Know, the easiest way is just to go to Berg B U R G dot com.

27:15 - 27:21
Bob
And they can, if they like, subscribe to my daily impact e-mails.

27:21 - 27:29
Bob
I send those out Monday through Friday, and just really enjoyed doing that and loved the feedback from people who read those, so.

27:29 - 27:30
Bob
Yeah, that would be really neat.

27:31 - 27:33
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So, literally, will put that on the podcast note.

27:33 - 27:37
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
So, if you're driving and listening to this, just know that it'll be there on the podcast.

27:37 - 27:40
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Bob, Once again, thank you for coming back on the show.

27:40 - 27:45
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
You were one of the few people that we've asked to come back and have a good rest of the day there.

27:45 - 27:48
Bob
It's an honor to know that I appreciate that so much.

27:48 - 27:50
Bob
Thank you, Chris.

27:50 - 27:51
Bob
All right.

27:51 - 27:51
Christopher Hensley, RICP®
Have a good one.